“I’m the key earner, I don’t want to be the organiser as well.”

I’ve been with my partner for 10 years. But he travels for work half the year. It’s like all the negatives of being single and none of the positives. 

Now we’re homeowners, most of my disposable income goes on the house. I’m the one around to sort it. I also don’t go away alone – I save for our trips.

We don’t get much time together so there’s pressure when we do see each other. I’ve always earned and saved more, so I end up paying for a lot of our holidays. 

On weekends away, I pay for accommodation, he’ll cover spending. We make it work. But I do feel envious of my friends and their partners.

All the organising falls on me, or it wouldn’t happen. But going away together is important for our relationship, so we don’t grow apart. 

We have a big trip coming up. He’s going to two different countries for work, meeting me, then onto two more trips.

It makes me happy to see him grow as a person, but also sad because I’d like to experience things for the first time together. 

Sometimes I feel resentment. But I know his trips aren’t that glamorous and he’s sacrificed a lot. He barely speaks to his family due to time zones. 

The time I spend alone feels painful when it’s day one of 21 to come. But since we got our house, he’s more grounded. He just doesn’t know how to move forward.

Illustration credit: Emanuel Santos