’What did your parents teach you about money?’ is a new series in which we take a look through social media at what our parents have taught us about money. This week, Bola Sol, talk show host and financial wellness coach, shares what she learnt from her social followers.

When it came to money, there was no particular instruction from my parents.

“Go to school, work hard and get a good job,” is all I was told. I questioned what the point was of doing all of this work and what it all added up to.

The story we tell ourselves about our journey with money starts with what our parents instilled in us from an early age. The curiosity of how money worked, why it is so important and how it is tied to our wellbeing brought me to where I am today. Becoming a financial wellness coach and running a small company has taught me that our value can not be in money alone.

My passion for discussing money came from networking and only seeing a few women in the room. I so desperately wanted to change that narrative. I had little funds for a start-up but I had social media so I started there. Having open and honest conversations online is always a good place to begin.

The responses I received gave me real food for thought.

This particular response made me think about how often we put ourselves first when we get paid. When it comes to the money we make, do we see ourselves as a priority?

Learning from the mistakes of those who have come before us can save us from more than money. Seeing the anxiety money can cause people is enough to rethink our interactions with it.

Whilst I’m a big believer in health being more important than wealth, we can’t play down the fact that wealth contributes to how we live and how well we live. Socioeconomic factors play a big part in this. To work tirelessly for money and not enjoy it because you’re always on the clock can have you wondering what the point of it all is.

This particular tweet made me think about the harsh realities of freelancing and payment terms. When rent is due every month along with other crucial bills, how do we budget?

If this period of life has taught us anything, it’s that a rainy day is never too far away. When times are uncertain, it’s always reassuring to know that you created your own safety net and it’ll catch you when life throws you off balance.

Personally, I’ve found that there’s a strong correlation between money and emotions. Paydays used to feel like a mini lottery to me. All of a sudden, my taste buds feel expensive and I want to socialise to the high heavens! The knock-on effect in the past has resulted in me living on noodles for the rest of the month. After much reflection, I realised I couldn’t keep living on such an emotional, financial rollercoaster. A lack of financial discipline has taught me that balance is imperative, even from a mental health perspective.

In the event that life doesn’t always go in our favour, it’s good to have some independent money that reminds us that if the road gets narrow, we can still travel down it on our own with our head held high.

No one is above the unexpected. The best way to stay ready is to keep some money ready.

The dialogue started on Twitter is a constant reminder that there isn’t only one way to live when it comes to money. We are all learning and growing at our own pace and that’s okay. Whilst sharing stories brings us together as a community, it should never be used as a tool to compare ourselves financially. We all have beautiful stories that should be told individually but shared collectively.

Above all, our worth isn’t in money, it’s in owning your story and celebrating your journey.

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