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By Anonymous contributor
For What It’s Worth
“Money broke us up. Long distance cost too much.”
There was an ocean of distance between me and my girlfriend. We couldn’t make it work.
3 minute read · 14th March 2025
On our first date, we went to the pub. She brought homemade cookies; I bought us craft beers. We kept dating, and for a while, we lived like a normal couple: hosting friends, dancing together at Pride, going on holiday. But a deadline hung over our happiness.
We were both studying in London: I was from the city, she was American. The day that my girlfriend finished her degree came round too quickly and wasn’t much of a celebration. With her Student Visa expired, she needed to get a job with a company that would sponsor her, but it didn’t happen.
We were faced with a decision: break up, or go long distance. We followed our hearts over our heads. Almost exactly a year on from our first date, we said goodbye to each other at the airport – still together, soon to be separated by an ocean.
We tried to see as much of each other as we could, but money was tight. One return flight set me back around £600. We also spent a lot when we were together, trying to make the little time we had together really special. When we got jobs, it was better because we had some money, but worse because we had less time to see each other.
To end the long distance, one of us had to move away from home. Now working for the NHS, it was harder for me to convert my qualifications. So my girlfriend started to apply to UK companies again, but none of them would sponsor her.
When I found out that I could be her sponsor, I thought we’d found the solution. But then I discovered that I needed to earn a certain amount and have a permanent job. At the time, I was on a six-month contract, so I persuaded my employer to give me a permanent position. They agreed, but my salary still wasn’t high enough.
Looking back, I think we became too focused on practical things too quickly: getting that impossible visa, securing the right jobs for us to be together, and finding enough money and time to fly between the US and the UK. There were so many pressures and barriers that we forgot how to have fun.
We tried to hold our relationship together, but we knew it was slipping between our fingers. We still loved each other, but it wasn’t enough. After doing everything we could to live in the same country, we decided it was better for our mental wellbeing and long-term happiness to break up. They say ‘love conquers all’ but the reality isn’t always so simple.
While I wouldn’t do long distance again, I don’t regret trying to make it work. And although it didn’t work out, I feel like the money was well spent. I’m richer now in memories and experience. Although, now, I’ll only date women who live in the same city as me. I want to cross streets to see my partner, not oceans.
How much does it cost to become a UK citizen?
Becoming a citizen of an additional country can be a long and complicated process. For British citizenship, there are a number of ways to apply, depending on your circumstances and eligibility, and you may need to pay a fee. For example, if you apply as the spouse of a British citizen, you’ll need to pay an application fee of £1,630.
Of course, you don’t have to be a British citizen to live and work in the UK – you can apply for a visa, which will be valid for a certain period of time if granted. There are various types of visas, for example for students, tourists and ‘Skilled Workers’.
If a UK company employs someone who does not have British citizenship, they can choose to sponsor the employee, who could be granted a work visa for up to five years. The cost of being a sponsor depends on the size of the company and how long they want to act as the employee’s sponsor. Small sponsors or charities pay £364 per year, per person; medium or large sponsors pay £1,000 per year, per person. You can find out what distinguishes a small sponsor or charity from a medium or large sponsor on the government website.
Some individuals can also act as sponsors to enable their partner to get a visa, provided the individual meets certain criteria. As of 11 April 2024, the individual that wants to sponsor their partner to come to the UK must prove that they have a household income of at least £29,000 per year. This minimum household income threshold, designed to ensure the sponsor can cover maintenance and accommodation costs for their partner and not rely on public funds, may rise again in 2025. You can read the latest information on visas and specific eligibility criteria on the government website.
If your partner lives abroad and you’re travelling to see them, remember to pack your Starling card and enjoy no fees from us when you use it overseas.
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