“Should a dream have a deadline? Mine’s coming up.”

I chose to pursue a creative education and acting while friends were progressing their careers, getting higher salaries.

I’ve always spent money frivolously. I live my life in the present and don’t really think about the future. My family’s ethos is: ‘If you’ve got it, spend it.’ 

I come from a working-class background. And my family spends a lot on other people. There’s shame around keeping money for yourself – they see it as selfish. 

I’ve always prioritised holidays – I see travel as a way of enriching my life, choosing that over actual riches. I’ve had two or three jobs at a time so I could pay for those things. 

I’ve never had any savings, but I regret that now. When friends started buying houses, I started to question the choices I’ve made. 

Some friends have even offered to lend me money, but I always say ‘no.’ One said I was too proud! I always agree to split bills, so I just swallow the cost. 

I’ve got to a point where I need to reassess my lifestyle. I spend more than I earn. Nowadays I don’t enjoy the things that I’m doing because I’m worried about money.

With acting, my friends and family are behind me because they know how much I want it. I’ve always said I’d give myself 10 years. 

The deadline is coming up. But my dream career is not in my control. Do I keep pushing forward? Or is it time for a change? 

Illustration credit: Emanuel Santos