For What It’s Worth
“I earn 10% of what my partner makes.”
By Anonymous contributor
For What It’s Worth
“I’ve bought a house but the ‘congrats’ feel wrong.”
My late partner left me money to buy my first house. I feel so conflicted about it.
13th August 2024
My partner was diagnosed with terminal cancer in his twenties. We had to talk about what he would leave me – something that most people don't have to think about at that age.
He left me enough money to buy a house. To him, it represented security. He’d leave me knowing I’d always have a place to live.
He wanted to set me up for the rest of my life. A house is an investment – I could make money off the property if I needed to.
For most people, buying a house marks a big milestone, often for a couple, and it’s joyous. But that opportunity has been taken from me.
I bought a place in his hometown, a city that means a lot to us – where we built our life. When I got the keys it was really hard. I burst out crying.
When people say ‘congratulations,’ it doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t feel like it’s something I want to celebrate. I keep it vague and reply: “It’s good but it’s a lot to do by myself.”
Colleagues (and other people I meet) think I got the money from my parents. People make assumptions because there’s not enough open conversation around inheritance.
I guess, in a sense it is our house, even though he never saw it or went through the process of buying it with me.
A friend said something that I found comforting: “He’s given you a home, so through this house, he’ll always be there.”
Illustration credit: Emanuel Santos
What is a will?
A will is a legal document that gives instructions on how a person's money, property and possessions should be passed down to others after they die. It might also include details of who they would like to care for their children (if they're under 18). Ultimately, it ensures that what you own is left to people of your choice, and people you trust are made responsible for any children under 18.
The cost of a will depends on which solicitor or service you use. According to the Legal Service Board, a simple will can cost anywhere between £150 and £2,408 so it's important to ask for quotes from multiple solicitors before committing.
At certain times of the year, you can use a solicitor that has partnered with the organisation WillAid and draw up a simple will for a £100 donation or a mirror will (for two people with similar wishes) for a £180 donation to WillAid. These donations are in place of a fee and are distributed between WillAid's nine partner charities, which include AgeUK and Save the Children.
Using a solicitor to draw up a will provides a level of protection if something goes wrong. Knowing it's been written by a professional and stored somewhere safe (solicitors usually store the original for you) can also bring you a lot of peace of mind.
At Starling, we have a dedicated Bereavement Team, here to support you, especially if you need to close the account of someone who was a Starling customer. You can also reach out to Cruse for free bereavement support.
Starling bereavement guide
